Ubers Rap Battles

[Sweep]

I'm better than Sweep and my lyrics are deep

die


Who is this motherfucker I see before me?
An overzealous lucky n bad kitty
Nigga runs his mouth about a perfect UPL record
As if haxing everyone merits some sort of reward
This twatwaffle attempted to counterteam everyone
He even brought a fuckin Shiftry for Kebabe sun
Even his UPL manager wouldn't defend him from disses
As no one can beat crits and lucky Toxic misses
A good thing your kryptonite never got to feast
Or else everyone would have brought Metang, the beast!
Nigga even pretends to be a girl to gain cred
Guess what you cisgendered shit: put those dreams to bed
Though the hate, I'll offer up this admission
No one is better at saccing their win condition!


edit: i tried to rhyme record with reward because i am very retarded

 

[Lebrawwn James]

Y'all nerds can't rhyme for shit
If you use geomancy xerxes, then yous a little bitch
Guess what? Your waifu a shit
You sat alone at lunch during highschool, hows that feel Rich?

LeBrawwn comin through, with these sick rhymes
You can't play dude, I'll 6-0'd you. like every single time
I slap on the track and I mack on these dimes
Splash a fire blast on your gurls ass, now shes mine

 

[tutterydiglett]

Y'all nerds can't rhyme for shit
If you use geomancy xerxes, then yous a little bitch
Guess what? Your waifu a shit
You sat alone at lunch during highschool, hows that feel Rich?

LeBrawwn comin through, with these sick rhymes
You can't play dude, I'll 6-0'd you. like every single time
I slap on the track and I mack on these dimes
Splash a fire blast on your gurls ass, now shes mine

lol justin comin' thru
you say we can't rhyme but pls bitch look at you
STUPID BOI can't even spell it's called xerneASS
you say you're good at ubers
but i bet i can shrek you with a single PROBOPASS

bringing out your gayass motherfucker arceus
all i have to say is: sorry its over
my probopass be lock on'ing right at your ugly face
and firing off zap cannons off an OP 75 SpA, yeah thats the case

you try to espeed but i do apologise
even showdown realises your demise

252+ Atk Silk Scarf Arceus Extreme Speed vs. 252 HP / 252 Def Probopass: 25-29 (7.7 - 8.9%) -- possibly the worst move ever

 

[MrKijani]

Whoa shit! Look at this
Gonna get in here with ma fist
Here with the power
So prepare to cower
All you players with your cute rhymes
That I could buy with a broken chime
Like really, these raps
deserve some slaps
From my hoe, LustrousPalkia
Then be like "See ya"
Sweep , what's wrong man?
Just tell that Skitty to scram
That girl, boy, IT can do no harm
Even if it were a fire on a farm.
While on the subject,
I'm going to be direct.
LC sucks,
Harder than it fucks.

 

[Minority]

Forgot About Minority


Ya’ll know me, the Minority G
Here to clean these posts like they a disease
Such circle jerking just to appease
Good players with shit lyrics that only displease

Weak rhymes and no rhythm is such ease
Your simplistic patterns take no expertise
Two verse rhyme pairs without edge or degree
More boring than a breeze or a land without trees

Go ahead and respond, I beg you please
I need entertainment to go with my wine and cheese
You better bow down on both knees
Cut your losses and just pay the fees

Lucky I’m here bring out some trustees
To reinforce the sanctity of this thread: no tease
Can do it all without even Lance’s Swaggkeys
Don’t care if you’re Chinese, Cantonese, or Japanese

My lyrics got the brawn, save this thread and Smogon
Rhythm blasts balls, similar to Death Star Vs. Alderon
If you’re scared get an outage and say it’s time to John
Doesn’t matter; turn three your Xern check is gone

On the field of rap you’re all just pawns
Doesn’t matter how long you’ve played my swag is on
Anything you type is just like Yawn
I’d fall asleep but I’m already withdrawn

Better idea, go crawl back to Brawl
Or stay and get cut like Darth Maul
Beat you with Arceus-Fire, begin to bawl
Your Pokemon Showdown, better uninstall

All your calls, they just appall
It’s insane how this shit manages to sprawl
The quality is non-existent, not even small
Yet some fools it manages to enthrall

Nowadays everybody wanna talk like they got authority
But nothin’ comes out when they move their lips
Just a bunch of gibberish
These mutha fuckas act as they though they forgot about Minority

Nowadays everybody wanna talk like they got authority
But nothin’ comes out when they move their lips
Just a bunch of gibberish
These mutha fuckas act as they though they forgot about Minority

In comparison my skills are beyond fastidious
A master of several areas: amphibious
Included are references beyond insidious
My lyrics are like lightning: Lord Sidious

My reign over rap is beyond perpetual
All your attempts to counter will be ineffectual
They will stoop to callings of homosxual
While my lyrics will remain intellectual

Still wasting time trying to plan an attack?
Rhymes like these are just something you lack
If I were you I’d lay off the crack
My rap is like pancakes: stacked

Race doesn’t matter even if you’re black
All of your lyrics are totally whack
Pokemon skill won’t help you here Hack
Forget about trying and boost my track

This thread, shit posts made it dead
And Melee Mewtwo just let it bled
How about you post some good raps instead?
Gets some beats and begin to embed

Did you niggas hear what I said?
Doubt there will be any good posts ahead
I guess you’re all too busy not getting head
My rhymes more underrated than the film: Dredd

One thing you got right is that my raps are ill
Despite finding that truth you have no skill
Still feeling sick, maybe take a pill
If you hand some cash you could see Dr. Phil

I’m almost as hot as a steel grill
Burning it up and primed to kill
Time’s up, better write your will
No addict, yet I can still distill

Nowadays everybody wanna talk like they got authority
But nothin’ comes out when they move their lips
Just a bunch of gibberish
These mutha fuckas act as they though they forgot about Minority

Nowadays everybody wanna talk like they got authority
But nothin’ comes out when they move their lips
Just a bunch of gibberish
These mutha fuckas act as they though they forgot about Minority

I’m in the fray, it’s time to slay
Like writing analyses: Blue Jay
The upcoming rhymes are like an essay
I guess it’s just part of my DNA

I’m ripping though like a +2 Ray
Sending all opponents beyond astray
Nothing ever goes out of my way
My rhyming was trained by the CIA

Thirty-two rhyming lines it’s like a buffet
I can keep dropping French words like parfait
So fancy to read you’re eyes need a valet
Despite such a service being quite clichéd

I’m like Sasha Grey, down at the cabaret
Yes there’s a better Sasha, you in dismay?
I could rap about that for an entire day
Speak English, this is the USA

What more do I even need to say
Verse one was sufficient for a total sway
At this point everything is on display
I look good in a tutu: ballet

Did I mention not me, but the ladder gets decay
All those against me hope for a broken replay
I once stole the city of Monterrey
Which I sold for slightly more than Bombay

Find a match and I just say hey
Whoop their ass with based shit and they rage totally gay
They forfeit, and refuse to stay
I’m a real ghost, not part of the kkk

Other fools completely underplay
They’re fodder, like a juicy fillet
Some realize it’s easier to just obey
Don’t worry, your loss is completely okay

Nowadays everybody wanna talk like they got authority
But nothin’ comes out when they move their lips
Just a bunch of gibberish
These mutha fuckas act as they though they forgot about Minority

​

 

[chimpact]

ive mastered dialga but even with my free time
i dont have time to read up on these weak rhymes

Edgar is the best ubers player on the planet
his teams are so amazingly organic
using two legendaries per team he has so much talent
im sorry for dick riding its a bad habit :[[[

 

[truedrew]

Nigga do you even feel?
block geoxern with a steel
Shrekage is when i feel fine
Its all ogre once i drink some wine

primal groudon be like i got sacred fire
i be like nigga ain't gonna make your usage higher
game comes out and his usage goes up he calls me liar
i be like nigga now use this fire to make me higher

My opponent be like primal kyogre got this no sweat
And i be like DAMN stahp makin me wet
Adaptability water spout kyogre and i be like DAMN HOW OP CAN U GET
Ogre be like you ain't seen my final form yet!

Then from the heavens comes a based god
Long ass tail looking like a rod
Rayquaza is my name air lock is my game
Using game shark i thus entered the hall of fame

 

[PrettyLittleGiratina]

Hey i'm a newcomer here,
but I won't hide in fear,
Second post and already at the top of the tier
My rhymes are quick-witted,
took the rest of you five minutes,
So weak that even then they could be love poems
I support these people from down in LC,
Their pokemon might not have as high of a bst,
but they owned you already, trust me
But post against me haters, and still a week later,
I'll be rappin' as hard as a High Jump Kick hitmonlee

It hurts.
Kyogre... Drip drip drip

 

[noahmc10]

Nigga you still only postin two lines?
Raps so weak not worth the time
Try a verse with multiple rhymes
Get a drink: got salt, add lime
Outside of Pokemon you ain't got a dime
More worthless than Mr. Mime

 

[Krauersaut]

stealing lines from a Minority?
what a cute little girl scout
call me C-O-P-P-A
cause i'm about to kick your ass out

 

[Megoodraggon]

Y’all don’t know me yet, I’m new to Ubers
‘Bout to show you you’re all fucking goobers
Remember my name, it’s Megoodraggon
Gonna sweep you like Double Dance Groudon
Rain on my parade with your Specs Ogre?
One plus two Earthquake and it’s all over.


My rhymes are as Lustrous as Palkia
Getting hit with these? Don’t wanna be ya!
Mess with me and I’ll Rend you Spatially
Gon’ royally fuck you up, facially
Send your X-Deer, I’ll send it to the grave
T-Wave your set-up to make you behave.
Then I’ll switch Scizor in on your Moonblast
He’ll Mega Evolve as you make him laugh
He’ll shrug of your tickles and Bullet Punch
He’s eating up your attacks like they’re lunch.


Think you can handle me with a Gengar?
I’ll trap and slap ya like the bitch you are.
I’m switchin’ out like a Ghost, no Shed Shell
Once your Gar is where he belongs - in hell.


Now that I’ve given you all a lesson
Let me increase your good first impression
You already know I’m massively fly
I’m also OG as Shakespeare, here’s why:
Take another look at your monitor
This rap’s in iambic pentameter

 

[ryan]

haikus are easy
but sometimes they dont make sense
refrigerator