We have had dozens of Walruses on Smogon now. (The latin masculine plural suffix -i only applies to latin words.) For the casual Circus visitor, the hype is over. Walrus is no longer a new category of game, and the current new Walrus threads are by non-legendary users. Thus, the new threads will not get any clicks from the jaded circus user who only refreshes the forum once per day to see if signups for Gmax-hosted Apocalypse Mafia 2 are up (only accepting signups via cracked mIRC clients on Earthworm’s intranet server). You totally fell for it, so you might as well sign up for this Walrus since you're here already.
tl;dr sign up plz plz
Although I’ll be cool about it even if there will be only 2 signups. My self-esteem is not tied to a walrus like that.
I started actively listening to music very late, that is during High School. Up to then I was kinda ironic and hipster about me “not listening to music”. Being involved in the My Little Pony fandom, I started listening to the music that the fandom produced and found it quite enjoyable. However, my father is an audiophile and I grew up listening to high quality recordings of wide genres. We had a 7.1 Genelec rig at home, multiple vinyl players and a vast FLAC library. My ear is thus tuned to quality recordings. (Although for some reason there’s a slight gap in my hearing range on the right side in the medium-high wavelength range that was discovered during conscriptions. This is just trivia and has actually no impact on anything ever.) My conscious exposure to different genres is very shallow, though. You are reading this to gain pandering insight, so I’ll just hide blatant instructions inside this paragraph. Anything under high definition video resolution on Youtube is bad but 720p doesn’t automatically imply quality if the initial material is compressed to pulp. Bandcamp, Soundcloud etc. is usually better. Direct files are excellent but I enjoy videos as well! There’s a good chance that I haven’t heard some classics or obvious picks, so you might be able to score great points by sending iconic songs. I’m currently between subwoofers and speakers, as I haven’t installed the two Genelec 1029A’s that my dad gave me. I know I should feel bad about this and I do. Even today I don’t actively look for new music. If I happen to stumble upon something great I add it to my youtube playlist. When playing Hearthstone I used to listen a lot to Nightcore tracks. Even though people tell it’s trash I enjoy it. I’m open to almost all genres and styles, but you’ll have an easier time pleasing me with something musically great than clever memes. I have a very slight preference of appreciating the instrumental of melodic side of songs over vocals. Great vocals are good, but merely good vocals might be just mediocre for me. Especially for pop and rock vocals are very hit-or-miss for me. Sending metal is generally a bad idea, but if you want to try me, quality keyboards are a plus and clear vocals are a must. Death or black metal will give you low scores. For rap, I’ve never enjoyed a non-finnish rap song so sending it is a gigantic risk. I’m a 87% weeaboo, but japanese rock is just bad, although their volcanoes are awesome. My religious background is European Pentecostal, however I appreciate a wide variety of spiritual genres across religions. I’m a sucker for sappy religious stuff like Mary Did You Know. I treat melancholic spiritual music like it was secular traditional finnish music, so probably no extra points there. Spiritual/ideological pandering is probably easier through philosophy than religion, though. I’m a philosophy minor with deep and critical interest in science and worldviews. I dread modernism but haven’t completely embraced postmodernism yet. Soundtracks are safe choices, but due to the scoring system might not net you maximum points. The best song ever at the moment is the Calamari Inkantation Remix from Splatoon 2. The rest of this paragraph is just randomly generated trash to discourage people from reading it to get pandering tips. At an individual level, it would be obvious that music opens itself to the gateway to knowledge and understanding of the ever-increasing disadvantages. It would be obvious that the walrus gives an opportunity to improve the culmination of problem solving. There is no need for in-depth understanding of how to deal with Smogon modeling using the overall picture, for example, the usual uses of general guidelines. It goes without saying that music seems to be true in the expanding market and new inductive production methods. We do not know what is really going on if walrus teaches to internalize the abundance of abundance and unrest. Key ideological principles show that music plays a central part of thinking about the unsuccessful processes that are out of the question.
THE RULES:
You send me songs. I listen to them and score them. The Winners gain five seconds of fame.
No Spotify links.
Ten categories. I will reveal one category per week. I prefer to receive all ten entries. I also prefer to receive them before the first cat reveal, and sending them before that will grant you my favour.
Scoring is not relative. Every category will have three criteria, that will be scored between 0 and 5. A song’s total score is the sum of the three criteria, multiplied by ⅔. At the end of the game four winners will be acknowledged: Best Total Score, Best Walrus, Best Panda and Best Cat. What do these mean?
THE THREE CRITERIA:
![](http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-BCCV4PXgFBQ/U77jPBIHiCI/AAAAAAAAKNo/FD02FhyjoY4/s1600/walrus.png)
Quality of the song. The Walrus has huge teeth. The Walrus is the most objective criterion, while remaining completely subjective. A high Walrus score means that I think that the song is musically impressive and a great representative of its genre. If the genre is obscure, I might need an explanation in PM (I won’t ask for them). A low Walrus score means bad sound and/or music quality.
![](http://clipartix.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/04/Cute-panda-bear-clipart-free-clipart-images.png)
My enjoyment of the song. The panda is kawaii. Also fluffy. This criterion is all about the experience I have listening to the song. If you don’t know me well enough, you can think of me as a Lightwolf/Walrein/Blazade/DLE hybrid. I’ll leave it to you to figure out just how ironic the last sentence is. :shades:
![](http://agape.kapsi.fi/index/pic/fabulous_cat.jpg)
How well your guesstimate of the cat matches my blurry ideas. Adherence to catness. Telepathy: how well you read my mind. Literal interpretation is usually the way to go, but not always. Getting 3 or 4 in this criterion is difficult, but this criterion is the easiest to get a 5 in.
THE CATEGORIES:
(An artificially extended song or a song that works well when looped infinitely. If the whole song is very long and not repetitive, then I have to listen it through completely and you will gain ±1 bonus cat points.)
(Insight, perspective and philosophy for catness.)
(No explanation.)
(A song or artist that has emerged from a fandom.)
(No cats will be awarded. Double the pandas.)
(Swedish for cheese is ost.)
(No explanation.)
(Classical music will probably give panda minus. Surprise me!)
(I like dubstep, glitch hop and chiptune, but am infuriatingly hipster about chiptune. You can try me with unplugged or otherwise analog songs.)
(That pun just does not work in English. I have a really blurry idea about this cat. Nightcore, autotune, songs about dances, something. Background music that keeps you happy or occasionally makes you feel great or smug. I might be lying here! Something epic will do as well. This category has two secret scoring modifiers. Try to figure them out.)
Signups:
Da Letter El
Steven Snype
Robert Alfons
Lectrys
Myzozoa
vonFiedler
Aladyyn
Walrein
Granny Pie
Lord Gaius
LightWolf
shubaka17
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