I'm bored, so I'm doing an LP of a game that's been LP'd many many times already. Let's get this over with, shall we?
Now, do we want to be a boy or a g-
[19:16:15] <@Phiddlesticks> girl
[19:16:17] <@Phiddlesticks> name: ALICE
[19:16:21] <@Phiddlesticks> rival: JACOB
Please aim your bile in Phiddlesticks' direction, not mine.
Well, that saved me some time. This is going to be the SPEEDRUN of LP's, I can feel it.
Who the fuck is Alice?
I shouldn't have said that.
Apparently VBA is also the world's shittiest NES emulator.
Don't forget your useless medicine, kids!
What a responsible mother. Honestly, who leaves the rearing of their child to a fucking television?
Oh, right, now I know why I had that Potion.
?????
Yes, it lets fat fucks like you and Sprinkles flash their dicks over the internet. What a concept.
Playing an 11-year-old girl means I have no idea how to write a caption for this, but let's assume she's going shopping like a stereotype.
Jesus fuck
Oh, it's not Professor Oak! It's Alf Stewart, taking me to his rape dungeon.
As you might imagine, someone named after a Twilight character is eager to be sodomized.
There's a bunch of exposition in this spot but I think you know what comes next, so:
Who do we go with, and what do we call them?