-
Welcome to Smogon! Take a moment to read the Introduction to Smogon for a run-down on everything Smogon, and make sure you take some time to read the global rules.
-
Congrats to the winners of the 2023 Smog Awards!
RPSI Doubles Roulette Round 1
- Thread starter RODAN
- Start date
- Status
Why the fuck did you make alchemator a judge.
I don't want to see pokemon submissions winning here.
I don't want to see pokemon submissions winning here.
RODAN
Banned deucer.
<@Broolucks> no I mean
<@Broolucks> I think past games have shown judges are lazy
<@Broolucks> you should have 3 judges judge each matchup
<@Broolucks> with a pool of 5 or more
<&cyzir_visheen> yeah
<@Rodan> that actually is a good idea, but there is a slight problem, what if they really like one matchup and gets assigned one they do not like
<&cyzir_visheen> that's definitely a good idea
<@Broolucks> nah I didn't mean it like that
<@Broolucks> I meant that the first three judges are authoritative
<@Broolucks> and they can call dibs if they have an idea, to give them time to write
<@Broolucks> that way if a judge is like "whatever", it doesn't slow anything down
also brain is now a judge
<@Broolucks> I think past games have shown judges are lazy
<@Broolucks> you should have 3 judges judge each matchup
<@Broolucks> with a pool of 5 or more
<&cyzir_visheen> yeah
<@Rodan> that actually is a good idea, but there is a slight problem, what if they really like one matchup and gets assigned one they do not like
<&cyzir_visheen> that's definitely a good idea
<@Broolucks> nah I didn't mean it like that
<@Broolucks> I meant that the first three judges are authoritative
<@Broolucks> and they can call dibs if they have an idea, to give them time to write
<@Broolucks> that way if a judge is like "whatever", it doesn't slow anything down
also brain is now a judge
Hey billy tell me your entry and I'll definitely put you through not
RODAN
Banned deucer.
A U-Boat Shaped like a giant Remoraid piloted by Fidel Castro in a jumpsuit.
and
New Years Eve, 1999.
(1) vs (2)
1000000 members facebook group
and
an alluring target, that doesn't have a bullseye
A boxing kangaroo
and
a family of starving, steroid-injected Mexican quintuplets armed with crowbars smacking the shit out of a candy-filled piñata on their birthday
(1) vs (1)
angry penguin with wonder guard using finger of death
and
disc shooter gattling gun
Jimbo's rejection letters from Princeton and Yale, covered in dry whale tears.
and
Electric Soldier Porygon
(1) vs (1)
A young girl and her dog impaled on matching poles
and
A somewhat biased RNG.
A cleanly shaven Hitler
and
A horde of Pokemon fans speculating over Pokemon Black and White, from Serebii.
(0) vs (1)
Balls of steel
and
James Camerons X-Box Live avatar
and
New Years Eve, 1999.
(1) vs (2)
1000000 members facebook group
and
an alluring target, that doesn't have a bullseye
A boxing kangaroo
and
a family of starving, steroid-injected Mexican quintuplets armed with crowbars smacking the shit out of a candy-filled piñata on their birthday
(1) vs (1)
angry penguin with wonder guard using finger of death
and
disc shooter gattling gun
Jimbo's rejection letters from Princeton and Yale, covered in dry whale tears.
and
Electric Soldier Porygon
(1) vs (1)
A young girl and her dog impaled on matching poles
and
A somewhat biased RNG.
A cleanly shaven Hitler
and
A horde of Pokemon fans speculating over Pokemon Black and White, from Serebii.
(0) vs (1)
Balls of steel
and
James Camerons X-Box Live avatar
A boxing kangaroo
and
a family of starving, steroid-injected Mexican quintuplets armed with crowbars smacking the shit out of a candy-filled piñata on their birthday
vs
angry penguin with wonder guard using finger of death
and
disc shooter gattling gun
Mr. Kangaroo was a 3 times world champion at boxing. he beat mike tyson. he beat muhammed ali. he beat rocky balboa while playing piano with his feet. he reached this party of mexican kids. they were muscular. he asked for a urine sample, to make sure the sport was still righeteous. they tested negative, so he cracked open their pinata for them. then a penguin came out armed with a finger and a disc shooting gatling gun. However, the gatling gun was mispelt, so it fired in the wrong direction and killed the mexican quintuplets' parents. turning them into orphans.
The penguin then fingered the kangaroo to death and walked off into the distance wearing shades all cool like.
(Winner - angry penguin with wonder guard using finger of death / disc shooter gattling gun)
Jimbo's rejection letters from Princeton and Yale, covered in dry whale tears.
and
Electric Soldier Porygon
vs
A young girl and her dog impaled on matching poles
and
A somewhat biased RNG.
5 5 5 5 8 8 8 5 5 5 5 3 6 2 5 6 4 5 8 7 9 7 5 7 5.
"This is what the RNG gives us. Let's see which applicant matches this number..."
Jimbo McWailord.
"Send the letter."
---
"BZZT. BZZT. BZZZZZT BZZT BZT BZZZT."
The Porygon spoke. Jimbo, in a fit of rage slowly stood up. That day, the headlines were talking about how a prospective high-school graduate had murdered a small girl and a young dog. The details were gory but apparantly the pair were murdered and thrown onto a spike-poled fence.
(Winner - Jimbo's rejection letters from Princeton and Yale, covered in dry whale tears / Electric Soldier )Porygon
and
a family of starving, steroid-injected Mexican quintuplets armed with crowbars smacking the shit out of a candy-filled piñata on their birthday
vs
angry penguin with wonder guard using finger of death
and
disc shooter gattling gun
Mr. Kangaroo was a 3 times world champion at boxing. he beat mike tyson. he beat muhammed ali. he beat rocky balboa while playing piano with his feet. he reached this party of mexican kids. they were muscular. he asked for a urine sample, to make sure the sport was still righeteous. they tested negative, so he cracked open their pinata for them. then a penguin came out armed with a finger and a disc shooting gatling gun. However, the gatling gun was mispelt, so it fired in the wrong direction and killed the mexican quintuplets' parents. turning them into orphans.
The penguin then fingered the kangaroo to death and walked off into the distance wearing shades all cool like.
(Winner - angry penguin with wonder guard using finger of death / disc shooter gattling gun)
Jimbo's rejection letters from Princeton and Yale, covered in dry whale tears.
and
Electric Soldier Porygon
vs
A young girl and her dog impaled on matching poles
and
A somewhat biased RNG.
5 5 5 5 8 8 8 5 5 5 5 3 6 2 5 6 4 5 8 7 9 7 5 7 5.
"This is what the RNG gives us. Let's see which applicant matches this number..."
Jimbo McWailord.
"Send the letter."
---
"BZZT. BZZT. BZZZZZT BZZT BZT BZZZT."
The Porygon spoke. Jimbo, in a fit of rage slowly stood up. That day, the headlines were talking about how a prospective high-school graduate had murdered a small girl and a young dog. The details were gory but apparantly the pair were murdered and thrown onto a spike-poled fence.
(Winner - Jimbo's rejection letters from Princeton and Yale, covered in dry whale tears / Electric Soldier )Porygon
Match 1
A U-Boat Shaped like a giant Remoraid piloted by Fidel Castro in a jumpsuit.
and
New Years Eve, 1999.
vs
1000000 members facebook group
and
an alluring target, that doesn't have a bullseye
It was New Year's Eve 1999. The 1 million user Facebook group put out a call to unite at various locations across the world. 500 people met up at Miami Beach and got a party going.
The party was rudely interrupted by a missile from the sea blowing up the sound system. Everybody stood trembling in fear as a large U-Boat rose from the waters. "What the fuck, is that a giant fish?" yelled one guy. Another guy stared flabbergasted at it, and said quietly "It's...a Remoraid...". "What the hell is a Remoraid?" said a girl standing next to him. "Nevermind...". The hatch popped open, and a man with a huge beard jumped out, smoking a giant cigar. "That beard, that cigar...Is that who I think it is?" said a girl. "For those ignorants here who don't know me, I am Fidel Castro" the invader said. "Why're you wearing a jumpsuit?". "SHUT UP!" Turning to his subordinae, Castro said "Blow up the man who said that." "Sir, that lot makes for a pretty fat target, but we don't know which one said that. Permission to blow them all to bits?" "Granted" said Castro, climbing back down, and closing the hatch. The U-Boat submerged, and its cannons emerged. from the water Its targeting systems began to lock in. Castro stood on to with a smug look on his face, smoking his cigar. Just then it turned midnight. Alarms began ringing in the U-Boat. "SIR, THE COMPUTERS ARE MALFUNCTIONING. NAVIGATIONAL SYSTEMS DOWN. TARGETTING SYSTEMS DOWN. ALL SYSTEMS DOWN" said a technician. The nerds on the beach, realising what had happened, stood smirking while the U-Boat's cannons sank beneath the surface, as the U-Boat sank the bottom of the sea, destroyed by the Y2K bug.
Winners: 1000000 members facebook group and an alluring target that has no bullseye
A U-Boat Shaped like a giant Remoraid piloted by Fidel Castro in a jumpsuit.
and
New Years Eve, 1999.
vs
1000000 members facebook group
and
an alluring target, that doesn't have a bullseye
It was New Year's Eve 1999. The 1 million user Facebook group put out a call to unite at various locations across the world. 500 people met up at Miami Beach and got a party going.
The party was rudely interrupted by a missile from the sea blowing up the sound system. Everybody stood trembling in fear as a large U-Boat rose from the waters. "What the fuck, is that a giant fish?" yelled one guy. Another guy stared flabbergasted at it, and said quietly "It's...a Remoraid...". "What the hell is a Remoraid?" said a girl standing next to him. "Nevermind...". The hatch popped open, and a man with a huge beard jumped out, smoking a giant cigar. "That beard, that cigar...Is that who I think it is?" said a girl. "For those ignorants here who don't know me, I am Fidel Castro" the invader said. "Why're you wearing a jumpsuit?". "SHUT UP!" Turning to his subordinae, Castro said "Blow up the man who said that." "Sir, that lot makes for a pretty fat target, but we don't know which one said that. Permission to blow them all to bits?" "Granted" said Castro, climbing back down, and closing the hatch. The U-Boat submerged, and its cannons emerged. from the water Its targeting systems began to lock in. Castro stood on to with a smug look on his face, smoking his cigar. Just then it turned midnight. Alarms began ringing in the U-Boat. "SIR, THE COMPUTERS ARE MALFUNCTIONING. NAVIGATIONAL SYSTEMS DOWN. TARGETTING SYSTEMS DOWN. ALL SYSTEMS DOWN" said a technician. The nerds on the beach, realising what had happened, stood smirking while the U-Boat's cannons sank beneath the surface, as the U-Boat sank the bottom of the sea, destroyed by the Y2K bug.
Winners: 1000000 members facebook group and an alluring target that has no bullseye
New Year's Eve, 1999, was looming in the near future. Weeks before the dreaded year 2000 arrived, upon which the world would end and judgment day would arrive. Fidel Castro was quite distressed. He had never achieved his life ambitions: reconciling with his estranged father, unleashing destruction upon the United States, and becoming a Pokemon master. Castro knew that it was far too late to accomplish his first goal, so he set his sights on fulfilling the latter two - simultaneously. He commissioned a British shipbuilding company to build for him a U-boat in the image of the strongest Water Pokemon he could think of. Details were lost in translation, however, and Castro ended up with a Remoraid-shaped sub instead. Adding further insult to humiliation was the fact that it did not shoot missiles, but rather, large bursts of water. The builder called it "Water Gun". Castro called it "a piece of shit".
On the fateful evening, Castro set out to destroy America. His plan was simple:blow up drench numerous chain retail stores, thus crushing the U.S.'s heavily supermarket-based economy. He traveled up the coast, ruining the supplies of various Wal-Marts, K-Marts, and Sam's Clubs Water Gun by Water Gun. He finally came to a Target - a very alluring one, in fact. It was not only very alluring, but it also lacked the bull's eye in its trademark logo. Castro didn't care, though, and let loose upon the target. Without the aid of the bull's eye, he unfortunately missed by a wide margin and inadvertently ran the U-Boat aground. Surrounded by numerous bystanders, Fidel did not have time to try and get his U-boat running again. However, thanks to the mobility provided by his jumpsuit and the natural Cuban ability to swim to and from Florida, he managed to evade the mob and return to Cuba.
Upon hearing about this incident, people on Facebook made various "1,000,000 strong for Target > Wal-Mart", but Wall-Mart's hypnotic powers ensured that the milestone was never reached.
Winner: A U-Boat Shaped like a giant Remoraid piloted by Fidel Castro in a jumpsuit and New Years Eve, 1999.
On the fateful evening, Castro set out to destroy America. His plan was simple:
Upon hearing about this incident, people on Facebook made various "1,000,000 strong for Target > Wal-Mart", but Wall-Mart's hypnotic powers ensured that the milestone was never reached.
Winner: A U-Boat Shaped like a giant Remoraid piloted by Fidel Castro in a jumpsuit and New Years Eve, 1999.
Substitute judge Earthworm returns in yet another RPSI
A U-Boat Shaped like a giant Remoraid piloted by Fidel Castro in a jumpsuit.
and
New Years Eve, 1999.
vs
1000000 members facebook group
and
an alluring target, that doesn't have a bullseye
Fidel Castro....... in a jumpsuit.... is piloting a... giant Remoraid-shaped.... German WWII submarine vessel on New Years Eve of 1999, presumably to avoid the chaos caused by the inevitable Y2K bug or perhaps to greaten it. Judging from the target that seems to have been set up, it is the latter. As the 999999th person joins a facebook group, the clock ticks 23:59:59PM. Right on time, Fidel Castro fires a torpedo right towards the centre of the target... but the target doesn't exist. The torpedo prints a message 'DOES NOT COMPUTE' onto the screen of Fidel Castro's dashboard and the torpedo explodes, decimating the submarine and New Years Eve 1999 is over so that's defeated as well. The Y2K bug never occurs because the programmers of computer systems weren't really as idiotic as some idiots thought, and the facebook group successfully reaches 1 million members.
Winner 1000000 members facebook group and an alluring target, that doesn't have a bullseye
A boxing kangaroo
and
a family of starving, steroid-injected Mexican quintuplets armed with crowbars smacking the shit out of a candy-filled piñata on their birthday
vs
angry penguin with wonder guard using finger of death
and
disc shooter gattling gun
Well first of all, the penguin gets destroyed by the boxing kangaroo since it is weak to fighting. The Mexicans get mowed down by all the discs being shot from the gatling gun, but not before knocking enough sugary candy to drive the kangaroo nuts and allow it to gain the sudden energy boost needed to overcome the discs and beat the crap out of gatling gun, dismantling it permanently.
Winner A boxing kangaroo and a family of starving, steroid-injected Mexican quintuplets armed with crowbars smacking the shit out of a candy-filled piñata on their birthday
Jimbo's rejection letters from Princeton and Yale, covered in dry whale tears.
and
Electric Soldier Porygon
vs
A young girl and her dog impaled on matching poles
and
A somewhat biased RNG.
Electric Soldier Porygon shows off its pretty colours but they do nothing to the already dead girl and dog on poles and RNG, since they don't really care about getting a seizure. Unfazed, the Porygon starts firing off its attacks. Thunder and Thunder Wave should be able to take apart the RNG! However, unfortunately for Electric Soldier Porygon, the poles are actually LIGHTNINGRODs in disguise... All the electric energy Porygon could produce was wasted by the poles, and the girl + dog didn't really care since they are dead. Still not too worried, the Porygon begins firing off super powerful Blizzards at the team. However, the somewhat biased RNG causes all 5 PP to miss the targets. Porygon's Last Resort, none other than the move Last Resort, however, cannot miss and quickly terminates the somewhat biased RNG -- but not before the RNG causes, against all odds, a sudden zombification. At this point, the young girl and dog get up off the ground and start trying to eat Porygon's brains. However, being a cold and heartless robot, Porygon still doesn't care. Using the last of its Last Resort PP to take down the zombified young girl, the Porygon has no more PP remaining. In desperation, the Porygon tries to grab and hurl the dormant letters covered in dry whale tears, but alas, Porygon is without the fingers required to lift these letters. The dog bites off Porygon's head and chows down.
Winner A young girl and her dog impaled on matching poles and A somewhat biased RNG.
A cleanly shaven Hitler
and
A horde of Pokemon fans speculating over Pokemon Black and White, from Serebii.
vs
Balls of steel
and
James Camerons X-Box Live avatar
It was Hitler's moustache that made him evil so he just grabs the James Cameron's Avatar game and starts shooting stuff in it. He decides to dedicate his intelligence and skill to becoming an elite gamer and doesn't have time to participate in this match anymore. That leaves Balls of Steel, represented by Duke Nukem, versus a horde of Pokemon fans from Serebii speculating over Black and White. Duke Nukem doesn't mess around and bombs the forums causing them to all join Smogon where they are infracted for creating too many threads and doing stupid things, driving them off the Internet. It's time to kick ass and chew bubble gum... and I'm all out of gum.
Winner Balls of steel and James Camerons X-Box Live avatar
A U-Boat Shaped like a giant Remoraid piloted by Fidel Castro in a jumpsuit.
and
New Years Eve, 1999.
vs
1000000 members facebook group
and
an alluring target, that doesn't have a bullseye
Fidel Castro....... in a jumpsuit.... is piloting a... giant Remoraid-shaped.... German WWII submarine vessel on New Years Eve of 1999, presumably to avoid the chaos caused by the inevitable Y2K bug or perhaps to greaten it. Judging from the target that seems to have been set up, it is the latter. As the 999999th person joins a facebook group, the clock ticks 23:59:59PM. Right on time, Fidel Castro fires a torpedo right towards the centre of the target... but the target doesn't exist. The torpedo prints a message 'DOES NOT COMPUTE' onto the screen of Fidel Castro's dashboard and the torpedo explodes, decimating the submarine and New Years Eve 1999 is over so that's defeated as well. The Y2K bug never occurs because the programmers of computer systems weren't really as idiotic as some idiots thought, and the facebook group successfully reaches 1 million members.
Winner 1000000 members facebook group and an alluring target, that doesn't have a bullseye
A boxing kangaroo
and
a family of starving, steroid-injected Mexican quintuplets armed with crowbars smacking the shit out of a candy-filled piñata on their birthday
vs
angry penguin with wonder guard using finger of death
and
disc shooter gattling gun
Well first of all, the penguin gets destroyed by the boxing kangaroo since it is weak to fighting. The Mexicans get mowed down by all the discs being shot from the gatling gun, but not before knocking enough sugary candy to drive the kangaroo nuts and allow it to gain the sudden energy boost needed to overcome the discs and beat the crap out of gatling gun, dismantling it permanently.
Winner A boxing kangaroo and a family of starving, steroid-injected Mexican quintuplets armed with crowbars smacking the shit out of a candy-filled piñata on their birthday
Jimbo's rejection letters from Princeton and Yale, covered in dry whale tears.
and
Electric Soldier Porygon
vs
A young girl and her dog impaled on matching poles
and
A somewhat biased RNG.
Electric Soldier Porygon shows off its pretty colours but they do nothing to the already dead girl and dog on poles and RNG, since they don't really care about getting a seizure. Unfazed, the Porygon starts firing off its attacks. Thunder and Thunder Wave should be able to take apart the RNG! However, unfortunately for Electric Soldier Porygon, the poles are actually LIGHTNINGRODs in disguise... All the electric energy Porygon could produce was wasted by the poles, and the girl + dog didn't really care since they are dead. Still not too worried, the Porygon begins firing off super powerful Blizzards at the team. However, the somewhat biased RNG causes all 5 PP to miss the targets. Porygon's Last Resort, none other than the move Last Resort, however, cannot miss and quickly terminates the somewhat biased RNG -- but not before the RNG causes, against all odds, a sudden zombification. At this point, the young girl and dog get up off the ground and start trying to eat Porygon's brains. However, being a cold and heartless robot, Porygon still doesn't care. Using the last of its Last Resort PP to take down the zombified young girl, the Porygon has no more PP remaining. In desperation, the Porygon tries to grab and hurl the dormant letters covered in dry whale tears, but alas, Porygon is without the fingers required to lift these letters. The dog bites off Porygon's head and chows down.
Winner A young girl and her dog impaled on matching poles and A somewhat biased RNG.
A cleanly shaven Hitler
and
A horde of Pokemon fans speculating over Pokemon Black and White, from Serebii.
vs
Balls of steel
and
James Camerons X-Box Live avatar
It was Hitler's moustache that made him evil so he just grabs the James Cameron's Avatar game and starts shooting stuff in it. He decides to dedicate his intelligence and skill to becoming an elite gamer and doesn't have time to participate in this match anymore. That leaves Balls of Steel, represented by Duke Nukem, versus a horde of Pokemon fans from Serebii speculating over Black and White. Duke Nukem doesn't mess around and bombs the forums causing them to all join Smogon where they are infracted for creating too many threads and doing stupid things, driving them off the Internet. It's time to kick ass and chew bubble gum... and I'm all out of gum.
Winner Balls of steel and James Camerons X-Box Live avatar
It was just days after the Polish Air Force Tu-154 crash, a disastrous occurrence that resulted in the deaths of Lech Kaczyński, the president of Poland, and several others. The crash was not a mere accident, however; it was actually a terrorist plot executed by the organization known as Federacja Anarchistyczna. While the president and many other important members of Parliament were killed, the terrorists failed to kill one person: Jimbo Kaczyński, the president's young son and successor. The leader of Federacja Anarchistyczna was quite upset about this, so he sent a pair of twin assassins, a young girl, and her dog to finish the job.
Meanwhile, young Jimbo was trying to flee the country, knowing that the terrorists who killed his beloved father would soon come after him. He had decided to continue further education in America and applied to two prestigious universities: Princeton and Yale. Jimbo cited many of his Pokemon-related achievements in his letters: he was a supermod on the premier Pokemon website, Smogon; he had beaten the Elite Four twenty-seven times in his Pokemon Diamond game; and he had managed to procure every single episode of the Pokemon anime, including banned ones such as "Electric Soldier Porygon". Each and every day, Jimbo waited anxiously for responses. The sound of every knock on his front door was magnified tenfold - Jimbo knew that it would one day either be his father's killers or the mailman. It so happened that the mailman arrived first, presenting responses from the two colleges - Jimbo had been rejected, and the admissions board had chastised him for being insensitive to epileptics by mentioning Electric Soldier Porygon. As the postman left to fuck the lady next door, Jimbo sank to his knees, blubbering like a whale calf, tears dripping on his rejection letters. His sobbing session was interrupted by the arrival of the terrorists from Federacja Anarchistyczna. They decided to dispose of poor Jimbo by eating him, but they could not decide on how to cook him. The twins wanted to bake him into whale stew; the girl wanted whale cakes; and the dog just wanted raw whale. It was decided that the matter was to be settled with a random number generator. Of course, it was somewhat biased since two people wanted stew - and indeed, it did end up choosing stew for them. The girl was ordered to cook the stew in order to uphold gender stereotypes, but everyone knows that women are stupid as well, so she mistook Jimbo's tear-stained rejection letters for a recipe. The girl and her dog went to Jimbo's computer to download the ingredient "Electric Soldier Porygon". Upon watching it, both suffered horrible seizures and stumbled into the twin Poles, who were at that moment attempting to lift Jimbo into a large pot. This caused the assassins to drop him, and all four terrorists were crushed under his massive weight, the girl and her dog somehow ending up impaled on the matching Poles.
Jimbo never did go to college, but he did end up getting a date to prom at least!
Winner: Jimbo's rejection letters from Princeton and Yale, covered in dry whale tears and Electric Soldier Porygon
Meanwhile, young Jimbo was trying to flee the country, knowing that the terrorists who killed his beloved father would soon come after him. He had decided to continue further education in America and applied to two prestigious universities: Princeton and Yale. Jimbo cited many of his Pokemon-related achievements in his letters: he was a supermod on the premier Pokemon website, Smogon; he had beaten the Elite Four twenty-seven times in his Pokemon Diamond game; and he had managed to procure every single episode of the Pokemon anime, including banned ones such as "Electric Soldier Porygon". Each and every day, Jimbo waited anxiously for responses. The sound of every knock on his front door was magnified tenfold - Jimbo knew that it would one day either be his father's killers or the mailman. It so happened that the mailman arrived first, presenting responses from the two colleges - Jimbo had been rejected, and the admissions board had chastised him for being insensitive to epileptics by mentioning Electric Soldier Porygon. As the postman left to fuck the lady next door, Jimbo sank to his knees, blubbering like a whale calf, tears dripping on his rejection letters. His sobbing session was interrupted by the arrival of the terrorists from Federacja Anarchistyczna. They decided to dispose of poor Jimbo by eating him, but they could not decide on how to cook him. The twins wanted to bake him into whale stew; the girl wanted whale cakes; and the dog just wanted raw whale. It was decided that the matter was to be settled with a random number generator. Of course, it was somewhat biased since two people wanted stew - and indeed, it did end up choosing stew for them. The girl was ordered to cook the stew in order to uphold gender stereotypes, but everyone knows that women are stupid as well, so she mistook Jimbo's tear-stained rejection letters for a recipe. The girl and her dog went to Jimbo's computer to download the ingredient "Electric Soldier Porygon". Upon watching it, both suffered horrible seizures and stumbled into the twin Poles, who were at that moment attempting to lift Jimbo into a large pot. This caused the assassins to drop him, and all four terrorists were crushed under his massive weight, the girl and her dog somehow ending up impaled on the matching Poles.
Jimbo never did go to college, but he did end up getting a date to prom at least!
Winner: Jimbo's rejection letters from Princeton and Yale, covered in dry whale tears and Electric Soldier Porygon
Just like RPS evolving into RPS Infinity, Cockfighting had also evolved into Beastfighting, where two animals of any species would be pitted against each other. Today's match features a young boy with toy Pokeballs clipped to his belt, holding a Nintendo DS, pitting his penguin against an old lady with her kangaroo. Something seemed to be wrong though. The kangaroo was wearing...boxing gloves... The boy shouted, "Alright, let's get this match started! Empoleon, use Water Gun!". The penguin looked blankly at the boy, and then looked back at the kangaroo. The kangaroo stared back with a similar expression. "EMPOLEON LISTEN TO ME! WHY WON'T YOU LISTEN TO ME?!". The kangaroo turned around and looked at the lady. An understanding seemed to pass between them, and he began to slowly walk up to the boy, taking slow, menacing steps. The boy's legs started wobbling. Then he smiled a sly smile and whipped out a strangel-shaped gun. "What's that?!" the lady screamed. "It's a DISC SHOOTER GATLING GUN!". "Well if you're going to cheat, so am I! BOYS!". 5 Mexican men armed with crowbars got out of the car parked behind her. They looked identical...as they well should, being quintuplets. The boy gulped, and then said "Empoleon, Wonder Guard..." The penguin continued to stare blankly. The men took out some candy from their pockets and tossed it to the penguin. The penguin eagerly ate the candy, and went over to the quintuplets and stood by their side. The boy stood there, nonplussed. "FINE. I'm taking you all down!". He raised the gun and began to shoot razor-sharp discs at the kangaroo. The quintuplets jumped in the way and deflected the discs with their crowbars. The men formed a barrier in front of the kangaroo and together they marched towards the boy, who was screaming furiously as he released a continuous barrage of discs. Having made it close enough, the kangaroo jumped high in the air, sailing above the boy's last desperate shot, landing right in front of him. It delivered a punch that connected with the boy's face, making a sickening crunch, sending him flying. The old lady picked up the fallen gun, and gave it to the quintuplets, wishing them a happy birthday.
Winners: A boxing kangaroo and a family of starving, steroid-injected Mexican quintuplets armed with crowbars smacking the shit out of a candy-filled piñata on their birthday
Winners: A boxing kangaroo and a family of starving, steroid-injected Mexican quintuplets armed with crowbars smacking the shit out of a candy-filled piñata on their birthday
- Status