Hilarious NPC Quotes

[thdhted]

"Whenever I'm down after losing a battle, I think 'At least I've still got my shorts!" -X and Y youngster

"I'm appalled! They refused entry to my Pokemon! Oh, my poor Gyarados and Steelix! This is discrimination!" -Poor poor man, not letting your "uncute" pokemon into Amity Square.

"I've made it this far in life using the karate I learned on the internet!"-Black Belt in BW

Virtually anything from the horribly translated monstrosity known as Vietnamese Crystal:
"I AM SO UNWILLING TO PUT DOWN THE PHONE! GOODBYE!" -Various NPC's at the end of a phone conversation

"GET ANGRY AS SOON AS THINKING THIS, YES, OUR LOVE MUST BECOME STRENGTH." -Silver

"(Player) PULL THE POWER SUPPLY OUT" -Quote when the player turns on the PC, ironically enough
"CAN'T NAKE? SOLVED BY FIST!" -A Black Belt NPC

There's more, and seeing as how this isn't a true faked thing(just a terrible translation), it's usable.

 

[Its_A_Random]

"I like shooting..." ~ Cleffa from Pokémon Super Mystery Dungeon.

Context if you really want to know

In Pokémon Super Mystery Dungeon, you can connect with some Pokémon by just talking to them. These Pokémon are connectable when they have a speech thought above them in the overworld which represents the start of the first thing they say before connecting with you.

Cleffa's actual quote when you talk to it is "I like shooting stars!"

 

[Darth Manaphy]

Well, there's one of my favorites in X&Y:

Hide

 

[Phione]

"Whenever I'm down after losing a battle, I think 'At least I've still got my shorts!" -X and Y youngster

"I'm appalled! They refused entry to my Pokemon! Oh, my poor Gyarados and Steelix! This is discrimination!" -Poor poor man, not letting your "uncute" pokemon into Amity Square.

"I've made it this far in life using the karate I learned on the internet!"-Black Belt in BW

Virtually anything from the horribly translated monstrosity known as Vietnamese Crystal:
"I AM SO UNWILLING TO PUT DOWN THE PHONE! GOODBYE!" -Various NPC's at the end of a phone conversation

"GET ANGRY AS SOON AS THINKING THIS, YES, OUR LOVE MUST BECOME STRENGTH." -Silver

"(Player) PULL THE POWER SUPPLY OUT" -Quote when the player turns on the PC, ironically enough
"CAN'T NAKE? SOLVED BY FIST!" -A Black Belt NPC

There's more, and seeing as how this isn't a true faked thing(just a terrible translation), it's usable.

If we're pulling out the Vietnamese Crystal, we can't ignore Silver's famous monologue.

I AM VERY DISGUSTED WITH THE TRASHY MAN. IN SPITE OF THE MONSTER, AND THE COACH, ONLY TRASHY, I WILL BEAT DOWN THEM ALL. FOR THIS I MUST STRENGTHEN MYSELF. THE MONSTER IS THE SAME TOO. COLLECT ALL THE TRASHY, RIGHTEOUS FELLOW ALL ARE UNPARDONABLE! YOU DON'T AFFECT ME. THE TRASHY STROLLING IS AN EYESORE!

 

[TheGreatDusko]

"Don't let your Dreams just be Dreams" Carracosta from Super Mystery Dungeon
"Shhhh... Don't tell anyone, just take it" ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Black Belt from Pokemon Platinum
"I should have brought my Game Boy Advance so I wouldn't get bored in line" Team Magma / Aqua Grunt R/S/E
"Hey you're not wearing shorts, what's wrong with you?" FR/LG Youngster

 

[Lady Vader]

"Don't let your Dreams just be Dreams" Carracosta from Super Mystery Dungeon
"Shhhh... Don't tell anyone, just take it" ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Black Belt from Pokemon Platinum
"I should have brought my Game Boy Advance so I wouldn't get bored in line" Team Magma / Aqua Grunt R/S/E
"Hey you're not wearing shorts, what's wrong with you?" FR/LG Youngster

The GBA line makes me think of a similar line said in the GBC version of Chamber of Secrets. Good times.
Also, welcome to Smogon.

EDIT: It's my 1,575th post! What does that mean? ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! WOO!!!!

 

[Amitghosh]

"Who Has the lift key?" - Rocket Grunt in FR LG
"OH no I dropped the lift key!" - same grunt.

 

[Gavisi]

"I assumed it was a Pokemon chasing after me, but it was just my own wife!"

 

[Ojo46]

"What? You want to know where I keep my Poke Balls if I'm swimming? Tee hee! Woman's secret!" -a female swimmer from BW

 

[JES]

"I'll tell you why I was taking a break. I have trouble with my bikini. It could be washed away..."

That would be okay to share with the female PC. But how do you know that won't give the male PC any ideas? I can think of only one reason why any girl would want to share that with a guy...

 

[PumpedAaron]

One of the Team Plasma Grunts in BW, Relic Castle says something like, "For the sake of my Pokemon, lose!"

And then when you beat them, they say "Because of you, my Pokemon lost! How d you feel about that?"

Haha, its actually a good argument for anyone who loses a Pokemon battle. Yes, even you!

 

[IAmTheLuxrayGuy]

"I like shorts."

Ok... Good for you...

 

[cityscapes]

"There are a lot books written by Professor Birch here!" -Birch's lab, ORAS

 

[meowmachine]

"I like shorts."

Ok... Good for you...

Better than the girl in Humilau who says that her dress is comfy and easy to wear.

 

[Mygavolt]

In the French translation of X&Y:

Hide

 

[PsychicAcademic]

Enjoy the absurdity that is Battle Maison.
https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1PtAD-wPN1RqgzUzWX0SbJ5PeLogeLVvBDZ6DcN67N4g/htmlview

When I played Pokémon X, my favourites were Hex Maniac Celia and Ciara.
"I normally only ever listen to classical music, but if I lose, I think I shall try a bit of a new age." - "Is this the dawning of the age of Aquarius?"
"Heheh... I see it all clearly... You are a doctor from an evil planet, aren't you?"

 

[Cerberax]

There's some kid in Pacifidlog Town that asks "Where are you from?" and the only two answers you can give are "Yes" and "No". I always found that funny.

"Oh dear, are your Pokemon still tired? You should take another rest here. That's a fine idea. You should do that." <- Dunno if that's word for word but the lady near Fallarbor Town would heal your team forever if you let her.

 

[JES]

I found it obnoxious. But yeah, that lady is clearly VERY lonely. Guess her husband went to that big Pokémon coliseum up in the sky.

 

[Pikachu315111]

"Oh dear, are your Pokemon still tired? You should take another rest here. That's a fine idea. You should do that." <- Dunno if that's word for word but the lady near Fallarbor Town would heal your team forever if you let her.

There's a NPC like that in most games, isn't there? Like I think there was one in Gen IV.

 

[Primalpizza]

"I am but a tearful clown. Though I smile, I cry inside." - Clown in Veilstone City

Not funny, per se, but I like the irony.

 

[Martin]

There's a NPC like that in most games, isn't there? Like I think there was one in Gen IV.

You are correct about gen 4. The Sinnoh one is on Route 216.

 

[cityscapes]

"You may embrace the happiness and express your gratitude for having been able to help me every time you use the move." -Girl who gives you the TM for Swagger, ORAS
I just thought this was funny because of how stupid a move Swagger is.

 

[JES]

So stupid, that it has been banned.

 

[Heracr055]

Bug Catcher east of Cerulean City: "I woke up early to raise my Pokemon from cocoons!"
Upon being defeated: "WHAT? What a complete waste of time!"

 

[MikeAU]

My favourite is still from XY --

Shauna: WOW! THe pokemon went INSIDE the pokeball!