Lifestyle The Mental Wellness Thread

Mr.GX

Mew Mew
is a Tiering Contributor
I'm sorry to hear you had to go through all that at such a young age.

My brother has been a victim of Depression, and was under treatment until recently. Thankfully, he is almost fully cured (There is no full cure for depression. It may surface at times).
It started when he went to uni, and had to face some rough life. He was alone (me and the rest of the family was abroad). It was his first time studying in India, and he felt depressed. At times, he would sleep for a whole day, not doing anything. He had suicidal tenancies too, and we were really worried, At second year of uni, we went to India to support him, and started treatment. He was also a victim of OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder), and had great trouble dealing with uni. We went to a better hospital in India, one that is well known for Psychiatry. They don't just give you drugs, they train you. it greatly helped him overcome Depression, and as a result, he became strong. Right now, he plays lots of game, makes jokes and help me when I need him. The depression changed him, however. it enabled him to grow stronger, face hardships better, and I believe he can just take on anything.
Depression is a pain, and suicidal tendencies can be dangerous. Drugs give relief, but you need to have motivation. A higher purpose. Find that purpose, and work towards it. Do what you like to do, and don't let anyone force you to do something you don't want to. Find strength and pull through. You are still young, and has a whole life ahead of you. (Who am I kidding, I'm only 19 myself...) You can PM me anytime if you want to talk to someone. My skype is mr.gx7, and is always open.

Hope this helps.

Sincerely,
Mr.GX
 
the fact she seems to have moved on should signal to you that you need to do the same, letting go of the past is hard when the present sucks and you cant see a viable future. If I may make a suggestion you are better off focusing on yourself and finding a job to move out, worrying about trying to rekindle a friendship that matured into a romance then reverted back into a friendship is not worth the effort. Being in a slump is natural and you will get over it in time.
 
Here's what I have to say about my journey:
I was diagnosed with Depression or more specifically with Dysthymia as well as Generalized Anxiety Disorder back in summer of 2014.
After talking to the therapist that diagnosed me, she said that it seemed to start when I was 11, which was back when my Mum died. I remember back to that day, and remember wondering why I wasn't as sad as everyone else during the wake- Then realising that the night before, my Dad was too sad to sleep in their old bed so he gave the bed to my older brother and I for that night (this was the day we found out my Mom's heart stopped the night before)- And that I couldn't sleep for my heart just felt like it was broken and would never recover, and everything about where I was sleeping reminded me of my Mom- (she had been very sick since I was born, and so she was almost always bed-ridden) And that this was so unbearable... and then I stopped feeling anything. We think it might've been a self-defense mechanism of some sort, the depression. See, as you guys probably know, Depression carries a great darkness with it: Lack of motivation and or feeling. It's not always that I feel nothing, but often it's like I'm walking through a game world where nothing really exists. Anyways, my story sadly doesn't end there. About two years later my Dad got re-married to my Step-mom. Unfortunately, she was very emotionally and verbally abusive (and I'm the middle child, and she brought with her two kids who have recently been adopted by my Dad into the family- I love them very much. Anyways I recently found out this last Christmas that my little sister and little brother dealt with the same things I did) Ironically although she was a high school teacher, she had never lived with a teenager and so didn't know how to react other than shaming and what felt like hatred. There was a time period after I left the house where everything was ok for a year before I shut down completely and failed out of college. I was then promptly kicked out of my parent's house because my step-mom didn't trust me, and this was long before I'd find out I was dealing with Depression which was the cause of having almost no motivation. I struggled for a while, and then I moved into my best friend's family's house for a few years. Sadly he then got married (good for him, bad for me because I never see him, and we need people, us depressed folks- I am happy for him, though) and his family moved out of state (I moved from the east coast to the west when I moved into his family's home) a few years ago, leaving me to have to find a way to fend for myself.

Back in late 2014 my Stepmother died of Stage 4 Melanoma, and while some might think this might be good for me, it wasn't- I still loved her, and on her deathbed she apologised for all the abuse she caused. So I forgave her long ago, and her death was very hard to cope with as well.

Since I moved out of my best friend's family's home, I've barely been able to keep jobs because my health has been terrible physically, emotionally, and mentally. My doctor says I need to find a way to reduce my stress because it's making everything worse, especially my physical health, which has become nigh unbearable while working a job. I also have really high blood pressure for someone my age (I'm 30).

I tried to get disability, but due to it being extremely hard to get in my state, and due to my church and my family feeling like I should find a job, I finally applied to like 10 jobs yesterday.

But I often find myself worrying that if I lose another job because of my health that I'll just give up all together. The last job I lost for this reason almost killed me. I went home with the intention of killing myself, but thankfully, since I've dealt with suicidal thoughts quite a bit, I've realised it's always best to wait an hour to think before doing anything, and this saved my life.

I've also been finding myself as of late withdrawing from anything social, out of fear, and out of difficulty dealing with people. I've been pulling away from people I know on showdown, and this has been taking me away from things I love like helping out the rooms I have staff/voice in, and it's been making dealing with my depression harder, as the best first step in beating depression is becoming more social.

Right now I find myself at an impasse: I don't yet know if I believe things will work out, and if they do, I can't see how they will.
 
The trials and tribulations of life can seem prejudice. I can relate with you thinking the reality around us is like a simulation with no real consequences. If you are growing distant with friends online try reaching out, I notice when someone is in dire straits you can find out who your real friends are online or in reality.
 
I'm sorry to hear you had to go through all that at such a young age.

My brother has been a victim of Depression, and was under treatment until recently. Thankfully, he is almost fully cured (There is no full cure for depression. It may surface at times).
It started when he went to uni, and had to face some rough life. He was alone (me and the rest of the family was abroad). It was his first time studying in India, and he felt depressed. At times, he would sleep for a whole day, not doing anything. He had suicidal tenancies too, and we were really worried, At second year of uni, we went to India to support him, and started treatment. He was also a victim of OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder), and had great trouble dealing with uni. We went to a better hospital in India, one that is well known for Psychiatry. They don't just give you drugs, they train you. it greatly helped him overcome Depression, and as a result, he became strong. Right now, he plays lots of game, makes jokes and help me when I need him. The depression changed him, however. it enabled him to grow stronger, face hardships better, and I believe he can just take on anything.
Depression is a pain, and suicidal tendencies can be dangerous. Drugs give relief, but you need to have motivation. A higher purpose. Find that purpose, and work towards it. Do what you like to do, and don't let anyone force you to do something you don't want to. Find strength and pull through. You are still young, and has a whole life ahead of you. (Who am I kidding, I'm only 19 myself...) You can PM me anytime if you want to talk to someone. My skype is mr.gx7, and is always open.

Hope this helps.

Sincerely,
Mr.GX
I think this is a really important point, we need to stop this stigma behind mental health! Maybe education should make more of a point to focus on these issue
 
I've been in this depressive slump for the past couple months now. When I first started college, I was hopeful, and the new environment helped keep my depression under control. I was thriving and adapting well. But sometime around January, I just started feeling worse. It's not like school got any harder, it just came out of nowhere. I can't describe it, and I have no excuse for it, which just makes me feel worse and oftentimes reluctant to talk about it. I find I've been less motivated to do anything, I haven't been engaging in the things I usually enjoy as often, talking to people less, and neglecting my health. I usually just lie in bed, listening to music/watching videos/reading something on my phone. It's this spiral where I'm not motivated to do anything and I feel stupid for feeling sad and not being able to do anything.

I'm not sure where I'm going with this. I guess I just wanted to say something.
 

Mattapod

bad clarinet music
is a Community Contributor Alumnus
I've been in this depressive slump for the past couple months now. When I first started college, I was hopeful, and the new environment helped keep my depression under control. I was thriving and adapting well. But sometime around January, I just started feeling worse. It's not like school got any harder, it just came out of nowhere. I can't describe it, and I have no excuse for it, which just makes me feel worse and oftentimes reluctant to talk about it. I find I've been less motivated to do anything, I haven't been engaging in the things I usually enjoy as often, talking to people less, and neglecting my health. I usually just lie in bed, listening to music/watching videos/reading something on my phone. It's this spiral where I'm not motivated to do anything and I feel stupid for feeling sad and not being able to do anything.

I'm not sure where I'm going with this. I guess I just wanted to say something.
i feel you there. one of the things that bugs me about being depressed is usually i start to notice i stop caring about all the things i love.. pokemon, guitar, exercise etc. honestly it sounds cliche but i think the best thing to do during that time is to get up and go work out. i had to do it today myself.

i, like you can quell the bad feelings with environmental stimuli for a while. but, at a point, i start to get used to my surroundings and thats when it usually comes back. sometimes i will literally pick up and move to a different state when i start feeling this way in hopes that it will make me feel better, and it always does for a while, but then after a bit it all comes back.

you know in your head and heart that these feelings and thoughts are not positive or necessary for your life, therefore you should evict them. paying conscious mind to the fact that you are feeling down perpetuates the issue, so distract yourself with something stimulating and challenging. i like working out for this because to a point, theres always something different you can do to keep things fresh and challenging. plus, even if you go back to being sad afterwards, at least for an hour or two, you werent sad.
 
if you posted in this thread guess what????

I love you so much! I want you to know that you are not alone and that you can PM me if you're feeling alone or maybe just need someone to vent to I will always listen and try to give the best advice I can. I'm still learning too, it's hard! But we have so much to live for and there's so many people that love you. Take it easy and be sure to appreciate nature. til next time -Jsaok
 
I've been in this depressive slump for the past couple months now. When I first started college, I was hopeful, and the new environment helped keep my depression under control. I was thriving and adapting well. But sometime around January, I just started feeling worse. It's not like school got any harder, it just came out of nowhere. I can't describe it, and I have no excuse for it, which just makes me feel worse and oftentimes reluctant to talk about it. I find I've been less motivated to do anything, I haven't been engaging in the things I usually enjoy as often, talking to people less, and neglecting my health. I usually just lie in bed, listening to music/watching videos/reading something on my phone. It's this spiral where I'm not motivated to do anything and I feel stupid for feeling sad and not being able to do anything.

I'm not sure where I'm going with this. I guess I just wanted to say something.
I think you should take a look into your heart into what really makes you happy and be sure to get some of that into your life! Reward yourself for doing things that you don't like doing. It's unfortunate but sometimes we have to figure out where to balance the things that we want and have to do! I think you're going in the right direction tho youre conscious and that's always the first step. Don't take school too seriously! I know parents want the best for you and you should too but if it's causing you too much stress maybe it's the wrong major, idk man. Just food for thought. Love
 

HotFuzzBall

fuzzy-chan \(ㆁヮㆁ✿)
is an Artist
never thought i'd post here but here goes .-.

Anyways, my depression was actually pretty recent, it started around January (yes, it was relatively short but, I guess during February and March I felt like I hit rock bottom and could not get back up). So how I deal with depression is actually pretty bad, I usually keep everything inside and pretend that everything is alright on the outside. If you do know me, you probably should know that it does coincide with how I act on showdown on discord.

So during mid January I applied for an internship so I could get out of the job I was stuck at. I currently work as one of those front desk people at a research facility and the amount of crap I get from the executives and the other workers is insane, but, I knew I wanted the work experience despite how terrible this was. I applied for around 4 design paid internships, I was fairly confident in myself which is usually rare for me since I'm usually betting against myself for the majority of the time. I thought this was my "big-break" essentially since I was basically a "finalist" or "semi-finalist" during the interviewing process, I thought that I was going to leave my old job and start focusing on my career further ahead but, nope that didn't happen.

So fast forward to late February which was probably the peak of my depressive state, I started to doubt on my design/artistic skills a lot around this time, with the events that followed through intensifying my doubt in what I thought I was good at. So I couldn't draw anything even if I wanted to, from the end of February to mid March-ish. Every time I tried doing something my mind would be like "this sucks" or any other mean thing I could think of. I usually try to knock out commissions in the Workshop but, I just couldn't at the time since I just made fun of my own art since I thought it was bad.

Then I was able to start drawing again but the personal insults came back. I couldn't draw once again, I actually have a big folder filled with all of these sketches that I hated or gave up on. I remember repeatedly doubting myself for around 2 weeks. I always found myself believing that I couldn't do anything else, but what I wanted to pursue I thought I was bad at the whole time.

There were times where I did want to talk to someone. I think I was close to dm-ing a few mods in the UU room or the few friends that I had and be like SOS but, honestly I have always felt like no one really liked me. I also have a habit of not trying to bug someone since I always had this thought of "why should you care? it's not your problem" and I wouldn't want to drag another person into my own abyss. This is a bit of a segway but, I always had this hunch that no one liked me as a person or thought that I was immature and/or annoying so I just stopped talking in the main chat in both showdown and discord for a while. All of these hunches just overall made me feel like crap, and the fact that I stored all of this negativity inside me for 3+ months just made me feel like I could not achieve anything.

Also I pretend to be happy a lot of the times, moreso when I'm depressed since I'm always like "oh maybe this will be how it goes away" but no, that's not how it goes away.

I guess I'm also sorry for pretending to be someone else the entire jan-present period since I honestly just wanted to cover up how I really felt inside.

anyways, yeah that's it. I think posting here does make me feel slightly better.
 
Hi, I just wanted a place I can kinda talk because I've been feeling a lot worse as of lately.

The summer between my 10th and 11th grade year was probably the worst time of my life. Nothing in particular bad happened, I was just alone and sad the entire time for no foreseeable reason. I think I actually stayed in my room sulkinfor a good 2-3 days straight.

After my 11th year, it sorta kinda not subsided, but went on the down low and became manageable to the point I even forgot about it sometimes. It all came back pretty hard in 12th grade 2nd semester. It was actually when I started going to therapy for a bit, but i had to stop because we couldn't afford it anymore :/

Let's skip forward to now. I'm in my second second semester of college, which is also my first as a full time student. I've been really depressed lately and I don't know why. I almost feel as I'm not rly gaining anything here and that I'm not worth it in a sense. I've been skipping a decent amount of classes, like all of my classes I had today.

I feel like a huge thing is I don't have many friends. Not zero friends because I have 2-3 really close niqqas, but otherwise I'm usually alone and lonely. I don't have anyone to talk to or to enjoy my time with. I can only play so much of video games and mons can do so. I just feel so sad as of late and feel like at some point it's really not all worth it.

Sorry if this sounds kinda cry-ish, I just wanted to try and explain some of it somewhere. Thanks for reading if you did.
 

Amane Misa

Bring Them Home Now!
is a Site Content Manager Alumnusis a Forum Moderator Alumnusis a Community Contributor Alumnusis a Top Tiering Contributor Alumnusis a Contributor Alumnus
Depression is a big part of my life... I am almost always depressed and when I finally get to be happy a bit, something has to ruin my happiness.

And to be honest, people are used to see my like that. I always have this apathetic facial expression and speech, if one day I become a happy person people will just find it weird.
But yeah, enough talking about others, I really don't care about them.

At the beginning of the year I was extremely depressed - so depressed I sat alone in school all day long and lied to my friends who wanted to go back home with me... I just had to be alone. I always thought about death and memorized the entire requiem prayer, death and loneliness were the only thing on my mind back then.

Now... I can say I am a bit happier person, still not a happy person, though.

How do I deal with it? I just let it pass. I see depression as clouds. Depression clouds are sometimes there on the sky, but they just pass away as time goes. The only problem with me is that there are so many depression clouds so even if one passes away, another depression cloud comes.

Oh well... life...
 
I haven't really read through any of the responses, so this is just a reply to the OP's first post.

Someone close to me died when I was ten, and it redefined my entire life..the one thing I would have done differently is reached out for help. I've spent years bottling my anxiety and depression because my way of coping was to force myself to function normally despite how I felt. Depression drowns out everything, and it might not seem worth it, but getting help and talking to the right therapist, or doctor, or friend can make a big difference. And if something doesn't help you, just try something different. I'm really sorry you lost someone you love..it's the worst feeling in the world.
 
I'm diagnosed with Dysthymyakdjdb or however you spell it in English. Long-term depression. Been it for as long as I can remember. I also know why I am like this, but eh. Doesn't help that I have a highly addictive personality as well, I'm always stuck being addicted to something so massively that it takes over every thought I hold.

I guess I can start by explaining why, and it's really simple. My family was a low-class family in the middle of the rich area in Oslo, Norway. My father was a taxi driver and was out working about... my entire childhood. I have only a single memory of him prior to I turned 13. So, without a father-figure around I had to replace it somehow... or a mother figure, because she was an OG computer addict. Her face was plastered to the screen, reading forums all day, to the point I knew how to slice bread at the age of 4 and had to provide for myself. As a result of, well, having no real active parents I became a monster of a child. Always doing new pranks to get attention, but after reaching a certain point I gave up on it. Instead I began reading. And I read a lot about one thing and only one thing. The Roman Empire was my fascination and my addiction at the age of 10. Mostly as a way to avoid all thoughts swirling in my mind, I've realized. And since then my focus have jumped from one thing to another, discarding the old addictions completely. In other words, when people ask me what interests I have, I simply can't answer it. I could say the FOTM I have, but it'll be gone eventually. So all this really has turned me into is a dissociative, narcissistic, self-centered yet self-hating, disinterested, lazy asshole that really holds no real value to society as a whole. I'm incredibly apathic too, the only thing in general that could get me up and running is my siblings and my best friend. I hold little to no love for anyone else. I know it all sounds super edgy mccool face, because honestly it is in a way, but I can't help it. And I can't find the will or necessity or even the care to change my ways.

Ironically, the way I deal with it all is by ignoring it just like anything else. Since it's not clinical depression, just a fairly mild depression that sticks to me at all time, I can.
 
Um...okay?
I just don't get people with long lasting depression issues. There is so much to life, a huge world full of awesome things to love, and plenty of ventures to occupy vacant time. I guess that's why doctors exist, though. Doctor, I am not.

Sure, life can invoke a wide spectrum of emotions but to constantly drown yourself in the same emotion is fucking masochistic madness.
Yeah, because people with depression totally feel that way on purpose. Wow man, you really opened my eyes.
Old_Gregg said:
I would have never got off my ass and did something with myself then maybe I would drown in my own sadness too, but I acknowledge that only I hold control over myself.
You...you do realize that some of the symptoms of depression are actual loss of interest in activities/hobbies and decreased motivation, right? And that there are multiple examples of famous people who battled/are battling depression, right? These people have all gone out and "did something with themselves" and yet still suffered from depression. Almost as if depression is a debilitating illness, and your lifestyle doesn't necessarily matter as your experiences/genetics/whatever can still cause you to suffer from depression. Huh.
Old_Gregg said:
I make no excuses and point no fingers, I don't salt others for what I don't have; It's good karma, at least. I don't get stuck on the same thing and obsess over it; life goes on.
Yeah, because everyone with depression totally does that. I didn't realize depressed people just blamed all their problems on everyone else (even though many of them blame all their issues on themselves due to feelings of guilt/worthlessness but hey what do I know) and we were consumed with jealousy. Damn gregg, you sure are a model person. If only I could be more like you.

Seriously, what are you even going on about?
Old_Gregg said:
I just got a promotion at work recently and today is an off day. Got my paycheck in the mail and went grocery shopping while my better half cooks the dinner I prepared to be cooked before she got off work. I spend time with family and put them before all. I try to get through to people and have a positive impact but damn, is jealousy a son-of-an-itch or what? Its okay though, I don't harbor negative feelings but I hope you all get the help you need. Nobody in particular but if you feel this pertains to you, then it just might.

And with that I'm going to have a cold one and watch some TMNT(the original one) with the fam. Be good Smogon, until next time.
No, seriously, what the fuck was the point of this? You basically walked into this thread to talk to spout some pseudo-intellectual bullshit about what you perceive depression to be, even though you prefaced it with a paragraph stating that you didn't understand it and that you weren't a doctor, then shoved some half-assed "support" at the end. Are you serious?

Maybe it wasn't your intention, but your entire post reeks of ignorance and condescension. You talk as if people with depression are like that intentionally, and that it's their fault for not appreciating life enough or doing anything for themselves. Do you really think that anyone in this thread wants to be depressed forever? Do you really think that none of us want to live a better life? "Life goes on." You think we don't know that? And that maybe, just maybe, we wish could move on, and hate the fact that we can't? I would love to have fucking control. But unfortunately, it's not as easy as simply saying "life goes on." Maybe that's why it's a fucking mental illness.

I'm sorry, but literally everything is wrong with your post. You blatantly state that you don't understand us, then proceed to position yourself on the higher ground and talk down to us, flaunting your ability to control yourself while greatly underestimating and generalizing what we're going through. So when you dedicate a small portion of a sentence at the end of it all to saying that you hope we get the help we need, not only does it feel fake, it feels like a complete afterthought.

I recall you doing something similar in the LGBTQ thread, commenting on a subject that you clearly had no understanding of as if you did. The situation isn't exactly the same, but the fact still stands that just like in that thread, you have proven yourself to be completely ignorant to what we are going through. You were right. You really don't understand, nor are you a doctor, so your post holds no water. Perhaps you should refrain from commenting on subjects you have no real knowledge of in the future.
 

Asek

Banned deucer.
I just don't get people with long lasting depression issues. There is so much to life, a huge world full of awesome things to love, and plenty of ventures to occupy vacant time. I guess that's why doctors exist, though. Doctor, I am not.

Sure, life can invoke a wide spectrum of emotions but to constantly drown yourself in the same emotion is fucking masochistic madness. If I would have never got off my ass and did something with myself then maybe I would drown in my own sadness too, but I acknowledge that only I hold control over myself. I make no excuses and point no fingers, I don't salt others for what I don't have; It's good karma, at least. I don't get stuck on the same thing and obsess over it; life goes on. I just got a promotion at work recently and today is an off day. Got my paycheck in the mail and went grocery shopping while my better half cooks the dinner I prepared to be cooked before she got off work. I spend time with family and put them before all. I try to get through to people and have a positive impact but damn, is jealousy a son-of-an-itch or what? Its okay though, I don't harbor negative feelings but I hope you all get the help you need. Nobody in particular but if you feel this pertains to you, then it just might.

And with that I'm going to have a cold one and watch some TMNT(the original one) with the fam. Be good Smogon, until next time.
I prefer the 2014 ninja turtles movie myself.
 

Soul Fly

IMMA TEACH YOU WHAT SPLASHIN' MEANS
is a Contributor Alumnus
^lol where's the original post, can't seem to be able to find it....

he's gotta stop doing this shit man, I kinda feel bad.
 
I'm diagnosed with Dysthymyakdjdb or however you spell it in English. Long-term depression. Been it for as long as I can remember. I also know why I am like this, but eh. Doesn't help that I have a highly addictive personality as well, I'm always stuck being addicted to something so massively that it takes over every thought I hold.

I guess I can start by explaining why, and it's really simple. My family was a low-class family in the middle of the rich area in Oslo, Norway. My father was a taxi driver and was out working about... my entire childhood. I have only a single memory of him prior to I turned 13. So, without a father-figure around I had to replace it somehow... or a mother figure, because she was an OG computer addict. Her face was plastered to the screen, reading forums all day, to the point I knew how to slice bread at the age of 4 and had to provide for myself. As a result of, well, having no real active parents I became a monster of a child. Always doing new pranks to get attention, but after reaching a certain point I gave up on it. Instead I began reading. And I read a lot about one thing and only one thing. The Roman Empire was my fascination and my addiction at the age of 10. Mostly as a way to avoid all thoughts swirling in my mind, I've realized. And since then my focus have jumped from one thing to another, discarding the old addictions completely. In other words, when people ask me what interests I have, I simply can't answer it. I could say the FOTM I have, but it'll be gone eventually. So all this really has turned me into is a dissociative, narcissistic, self-centered yet self-hating, disinterested, lazy asshole that really holds no real value to society as a whole. I'm incredibly apathic too, the only thing in general that could get me up and running is my siblings and my best friend. I hold little to no love for anyone else. I know it all sounds super edgy mccool face, because honestly it is in a way, but I can't help it. And I can't find the will or necessity or even the care to change my ways.

Ironically, the way I deal with it all is by ignoring it just like anything else. Since it's not clinical depression, just a fairly mild depression that sticks to me at all time, I can.
Stop that! I think what you said was really interesting, and I also think you are quite eloquent, a very admirable quality. At the age of 10 you were into the Roman Empire, I think that's so freaking cool. Have you ever thought about learning more about history? I think the things that you said about yourself about how you have an addictive personality sets you apart from a lot of people, as much as you consider it to be a curse in reality it's in equal parts a gift as well. The ability to learn is so underappreciated, you should really focus on finding what makes you happiest and pursue that! It doesn't have to be one specific thing either, the world is so limitless and you have so much potential, I think you can do ANYTHING you put your mind to. Just remember as humans, our primary goal should be altruism though. Also, maybe you should express these thoughts to your parents as well, if you haven't. I know it can be hard, but I really think you'll feel a lot better if you do, you've already made a huge step even writing that post! Feel free to PM me if you ever want to talk or need someone to vent to and I will always try my best to be there for you. Anyways have a nice day! :) - Jsaok
 
Depression is a big part of my life... I am almost always depressed and when I finally get to be happy a bit, something has to ruin my happiness.

And to be honest, people are used to see my like that. I always have this apathetic facial expression and speech, if one day I become a happy person people will just find it weird.
But yeah, enough talking about others, I really don't care about them.

At the beginning of the year I was extremely depressed - so depressed I sat alone in school all day long and lied to my friends who wanted to go back home with me... I just had to be alone. I always thought about death and memorized the entire requiem prayer, death and loneliness were the only thing on my mind back then.

Now... I can say I am a bit happier person, still not a happy person, though.

How do I deal with it? I just let it pass. I see depression as clouds. Depression clouds are sometimes there on the sky, but they just pass away as time goes. The only problem with me is that there are so many depression clouds so even if one passes away, another depression cloud comes.

Oh well... life...
Depression clouds... I love that. I think you should practice smiling a lot more, even when you don't want to. When you are walking down the street try smiling at a stranger and just saying a simple Hi. Also I don't think there's anything wrong with being alone. I spend most of my time alone and I am not ashamed to admit it. The thing is you have to find that balance. Sometimes it's actually really nice to be around other people, but make sure that your friends understand that sometimes you have to be alone to. .If they are really your friends they will love and except you, and if they don't you at least have me! I wanna be your friend
 
still not exactly sure about posting but

so in mid-December I lost my job and a lil after Christmas my girlfriend from college (who was the love of my life at that point) broke up with me. We had 'broken up' over the summer but got back together fairly quickly. However after this time she was fairly distant from me. We still talk pretty frequently but nowadays its pretty much just small talk and if we ever do get in a conversation about us I usually end up being pretty self-destructive. I don't even think getting back together with her is feasible (there's quite a distance between us and she has clearly moved on) but for some reason it is literally always on my mind. We were great friends before we started dating and she was my best friend during our time together...I wanna be able to have that connection back without worrying about the romance part of it.

I won't post the specifics of how I lost my job but in the end it made me feel pretty defeated. I hated the job, but the way I was treated and the way things were handled kind of got to me. I've been searching for new jobs ever since and have had to move back home because I couldn't afford to pay my lease.

Immediately following the breakup I was in a state where I couldn't even get out of bed and didn't eat. I've improved since then but I still feel pretty universally shitty. I can never focus and feel like my mind is always racing, and can't really find enjoyment in anything. I make plans to do things and then flake out on my friends because I just don't feel like it. My sleep patterns are erratic at best and I have trouble both falling asleep and staying asleep. There are still some days where I can't get out of bed but they aren't too frequent.

I'm really hoping that I can break out of this when I find a new job. I'm still a little worried about not being able to focus and not having my mind in the right place when a new job starts, but I guess I'll just have to find out.
Hey, hit me up on Discord if you ever want to talk to a stranger. I went through something similar.
 

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Sometimes I can be in a good mood but then out of the sudden I just lay down in my bed and...begin thinking in a lot of sad things, things that have and haven't happened to me and I just start dropping tears, thinking of my situation, my family and other things, and for some reason I have spontaneous thoughts of me in a not very bright future, as if I was unconfident of myself.

Does this count as suffering from depression? I've questioned this myself a lot of times but I really don't want to admit that I may suffer from this. It makes me feel really confused.
 
Sometimes I can be in a good mood but then out of the sudden I just lay down in my bed and...begin thinking in a lot of sad things, things that have and haven't happened to me and I just start dropping tears, thinking of my situation, my family and other things, and for some reason I have spontaneous thoughts of me in a not very bright future, as if I was unconfident of myself.

Does this count as suffering from depression? I've questioned this myself a lot of times but I really don't want to admit that I may suffer from this. It makes me feel really confused.
Just having those thoughts, even crying about them, doesn't mean you're depressed. That's natural and happens to everyone. It can be a good thing, because it can motivate you to work harder to avoid this negative vision of your future. However, if it makes you dysfunctional, if it starts impeding your functioning throughout the day, if you start accepting your negative thoughts as reality and just seeing everything negatively, then it might be worth considering that you might be depressed. Don't be afraid of that diagnosis, I'd argue that the vast majority of us are depressed at some point in our lives, even if we're not necessarily diagnosed as such. It's nothing to be ashamed of.

To me the best way to tell if you're depressed is to think about whether you've been seeing the world through a "shitty" lens: that is, have you been filtering out the positive and overemphasizing the negative?
 
I don't have much experience but here are my 2 cents:


I have been suffering w/ symptoms of depression and anxiety.

It led to a loss of focus on activities like work, study and even my hobbies. In other words, I could not enjoy life and it was hard to feel happy, even with a lot of positive things happening - new job, recognition on my academic stuff and so on.

Ultimately, it deteriorated my personal relationships - I drifted away from close friends and even my gf, because I was hurting ppl without noticing.

So i totally second Fizz comment right above.


After all that stuff, I finally looked for profissional assistance and I am feeling better. I neglected it for two years and it was the worst possible decision ever. If you have real worries, go after a good psychologist or something in this way. If it is depression, the early you go the better. If not, he/she will help you to alleviate stuff if necessary. :]
 
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Thanys

Banned deucer.
Hello, Good Afternoon, So my friend, what you're feeling is very normal and it's fair, you loved your father very much, it's very difficult for you to lose someone very close to you, I already had close relatives of me who died like my grandfather, I recommend you Go to a psychologist, undress, you sure have thought, this is very unfair, why does this happen to me? Yes, it is very unfair for you to lose someone so close to you, I want you to think, your father is now in a safe place, your father looks at you from above, talk to him, he is not on your side But it's going to be close to you, depression is a consequence, it's a feeling of pain, maybe it will take time for her to go away because you think, I could have stayed with him more, I could have hugged him more, The kissed over, this is a very bad phase, I recommend that you finish your career, do what your father always wanted you to do, he loves you, you love him, do not let depression take care of you, there are people Close to you that only wants your good, like your mother, your friends, I want your good even not being near, I wish you luck, sorry my English, he is not fluent: c, think of what I said, build your career, your family, be happy for you and your father :).
 

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