Walrus Da Letter El Wants to Judge Your Bad Taste in Music

Da Letter El

Officially internet famous
is a Community Leader Alumnus
Hello hi hello, it’s Da Letter El coming at you with a big ol Walrus thread.

Let me quote Walrologist Walrein in his explanation on what a Walrus is.

But what is Walrus? Walrus is essentially a completely biased song competition, judged by yours truly. There are [9] categories; entrants will select songs that fit these categories and submit them to me for judging. I'll score each song (alongside a brief writeup of my thoughts), award points based on the score, and then whoever has the most points at the end wins.
So if you don’t know, now you know. Send me a PM with a link to songs that fit the categories and you're good to go.

As a quick introduction to this particular Walrus, I suppose I should give you an idea of how I consume music. I generally like to listen to music based on my mood, as I imagine a lot of people do. As such, many of my categories are going to be focused on moods, situations and ideas rather than strict source or lyrical/conceptual boundaries.

Also, I’m trying to be exposed to songs and music I haven’t already heard if at all possible, and I’m going to reward people that cater to this desire. I will be giving 0.5 bonus points to people who submit (good) songs I haven’t heard before.

Scoring will be a subjective rating of my own between 0 and 10, after which I will award .5 bonus points to a song I have not heard before which scores above a 6 prior to the bonus. That’s it.

With that, here are my categories:

1. Summer’s (not) Gone: Summer is winding down, but it’s not quite done yet. Send me a song about summer, the sun, heat, the beach, summer holidays (4th of July, etc.), or other stereotypical summer things. Alternatively, send me a bubbly and fun-sounding, or maybe a happy-chill song that would be appropriate for hearing at a beach. Specify which approach you’re taking.

Examples:

Lil Rob - Summer Nights (about summer)
Saint Pepsi - Fiona Coyne (bubbly song)

2. Running in the 90s: Only 90s kids understand this cat. Send me a song from the 1990s.

Examples:

Mariah Carey - Fantasy
Nas - Memory Lane
Blink 182 - What’s My Age Again

3. Future: Every year brings more laments on the death of music. Prove the haters wrong. Or right, I suppose. Send me a song from 2017.

BROCKHAMPTON - Gold
A-trak ft. Quavo & Lil Yachty - Believe
Illenium ft. Annika Wells - Crawl Outta Love

4. Stigma: The world is filled with judgmental assholes, but sometimes you just like what you like. Send me a song from a genre, source, or artist with a fairly negative stigma attached to them. Weeb shit, screamo, homestuck music and Insane Clown Posse are all categorically welcome here if you’re looking for some inspiration. Make it clear how you're trying to interpret this category.

Examples:

BACK-ON - Chain (weeb)
Emily Browning - Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This) (made for a terrible movie in Sucker Punch)
Justin Bieber - What Do You Mean (artist stigma)

5. Late Night Drive: It’s been a long day, you’re a bit tired, it’s dark out, and you’re on your way home. Send me a song you want to listen to on the drive. Brooding, dark, and slow-ish generally works for this cat, but nothing is going to catfail this. I usually don’t enjoy listening to super peppy stuff when I'm tired but if that's how you roll, I won't hold it against you other than perhaps on a visceral level when I judge this at night. Note: this cat will be listened to in its entirety over various car rides at night through my car’s speakers in addition to through headphones.

Examples:

Kavinsky - Nightcall
Kanye West - Drive Slow

6. These go to 11: Some songs were just made to be listened to at full volume. Send me a song that sounds great when it’s played LOUDLY, whether the volume helps get you pumped up or has you surrounded and helps you feel like you're escaping to another plane. Note: this cat will be listened to in its entirety over various car rides at full volume through my car’s speakers in addition to through headphones. Please don’t ruin my ears too much.

Examples:

Death Grips - Get Got
Flume - Hyperreal ft. Kučka
Rage Against the Machine - Mic Check

7. This Is How We Chill from ‘93 ‘Til: I was born in 92; close enough. Send me something chill; something you could maybe close your eyes, lay back, or heck even smoke to if that’s your thing. Note: you’re free to send me a song from before 93; I just really like that song and it fit for a title.

Examples:

ODESZA - Bloom
Yung Lean - Kyoto

8. I Want To Be The Very Best: Gotta catch ‘em all. This is a Pokemon forum, so let's embrace that. Send me a song from, about, or tangentially related to Pokemon. This can be original or a remix; anime or video game. If it isn’t immediately obvious, explain the tangential relationship.

Examples:

Double Trouble (anime)
Verdanturf Town (games)
Shofu ft. Lots of People - Pokemon Cypher 2013 (related)
BotanicSage - Pokemon GSC Is What I Like (mashup/remix)

Bonus: Am I Wrong?

OPTIONAL: As a former debater and a debate coach, as well as a man that loves a good tier list argument, I’m not immune to admitting I can make mistakes. Prior to the last category’s judging, send me an argument for why a song that you submitted should receive a higher score than it did. Feel free to use references to portions of the song that stand out, make comparisons to higher or lower rated songs, etc.

9. Sing a Song Some songs just make you want to shout. Send me an infectious song that just makes you want to sing along.

Examples:

Vanessa Carlton - A Thousand Miles
The Foundations - Build Me Up Buttercup
Donny Osmond - I’ll Make A Man Out of You

-- ---End Categories-----

Who Dat Boy (About Me, If You're Trying to Win):

I’m a 25 year old white dude from LA. I mostly listen to and seek out hip hop and edm, but have listened to and enjoyed songs from just about every genre. I watch unhealthy amounts of anime and love to sing in the shower to whatever earbug pop song played on the radio earlier that day. I even like genres that people argue barely exist, like chillwave, cloud rap, etc.

Here’s a sample list of artists I like a lot and would pander cap a submission from at 8 points:

Kanye West
Kendrick Lamar
Nas
Notorious B.I.G.
Outkast
MF DOOM
Drake
Mariah Carey
Justin Timberlake
Smash Mouth
Vertical Horizon
Rage Against the Machine
Pixies
Electric Light Orchestra
Earth Wind & Fire
Bill Withers
Zedd
Madeon
Porter Robinson
Illenium
ODESZA
Kygo
Passion Pit
Caravan Palace
Yoko Kanno/The Seatbelts
Sawano Hiroyuki

The only 0s I'd drop are catfails and using one of my example songs or previous submissions (I'll alert you quickly about the latter two, don't feel a need to search through my past submissions. The former I'll notify you once I catch it). I won’t drop a fat 0 on any artist, but I’ll let you know if an artist or song you’ve submitted would potentially be subject to pander capping due to it being obvious I like a given artist/song from a previous submission, obvious exposure to from like of a certain genre, etc.

That said, there are some songs I know that I can’t judge fairly, so I’m gonna ban them and give a 0 to anyone that submits them:

Kings of Leon - Use Somebody
Pixies - Where Is My Mind
Rick Astley - Never Gonna Give You Up
Quad City DJs - Come On And Slam, including any and all mashups and remixes

I Don’t Like:

Bob Dylan and Johnny Cash

I don’t like really heavy metal. I do like some more melodic metal, though. I like a good bit of Metallica and Nightwish, for example, but I have almost no exposure to this genre to tell you much more about it. Hair metal is also largely a no.

I usually don’t like screamo/really harsh vocals, but I generally love when Grimes screams and like to various degrees some anime songs by Fear, And Loathing in Las Vegas and SiM. Just don’t send me Death Note’s 2nd OP or Du Hast or some shit.

Angry-emo and emo-emo stuff is in a similar boat to this.

tricot is so disappointing. Walrein and LG don’t do this to yourselves.

Broadway musical music. This almost never does anything for me. I like Seasons of Love, though. Anything from Avenue Q will crash and burn.

Most country music. It usually just bores me. This is also a genre I have very little exposure to, and most country music I listen to isn't dumpster fire bad, but it usually makes me wish I were listening to something else. If you've got more up-tempo and catchy country like Wagon Wheel though I might like it to some degree.

Most dad rock does little for me. Once again, generally don’t hate it but you’ll be hard pressed to find stuff I like.

Glhf

Feel free to send songs along at your own pace but...

Deadline for first song, as well as first reveal, is planned for Sunday, August 27th at 5 PM PST.

Sign Ups:

BOLD
means have received full submission, underline means partial

RODAN
KnightsofCydonia

Blazade
Steven Snype

SketchUp
Asek
Yeti
LG
myzozoa
Granny Pie
Haruno
Walrein
VonFiedler

HealNDeal
bluedoom
UncleSam

sam-testings
Cancerous
Adam (Mafia Universe)
LightWolf
shubaka17

Martin
 
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UncleSam

Leading this village
is a Forum Moderator Alumnus
Well more people have submitted than have bothered posting to signup in this thread from the looks of things

I have some ideas but not sure if I'll bother with a full submission list DLE
 

Da Letter El

Officially internet famous
is a Community Leader Alumnus

Da Letter El

Officially internet famous
is a Community Leader Alumnus
Ratings/Scores/Comments:

Links to all of the songs are inside the hide tags if you'd like to check them out yourself.

Song

I thought I'd dislike all of this more than I did. Lyrics are pretty plain and simple, but this first part is pretty nice. And then I don't like the funky switch and when the characters come in and sing. Yeah this character singing part is absolutely atrocious. The only reason this isn't in the 1's is because of that first part. More of the first part please.


Song

You really phoned this one in lol. This is super snore. The steel drums come off as really cheesy. The chorus is pretty dumb. This hardly shows off why people like the Beach Boys with some of the cool harmonies they can pull.


Song

Expected/10. Uuuuuuggggghhhhhh. Obviously this is supposed to be slow and sad but it's just…boring. I like Lana's voice but it sometimes gets a bit drowned by the background. On a side note, I can drive about 3 minutes to where they filmed some of the music video. But yea, no. P.S. this isn't as good as the Cedric Gervais remix even if it defeats the whole point of the song's tonality; I want party happy Lana not moody Lana :(


Song

It's got a cool intro, then it's very poppy. It's the kind of song that gets becomes increasingly less cool the longer you listen to it; the beat switch for the Big Sean verse isn't particularly interesting and the beat isn't good enough on its own to stay strong over a whole song. Big Sean's part is pretty awful. Send me Slide if you want to send me new radio hit Calvin ty. Pharrell can only carry a song so much.


Song

Yea this is definitely peppy enough to be a summer song. This song never fails to make me smile. This used to be my ringtone for a very brief blunderyears period of time, mediocre times. This is very much a nostalgia take. It's a fun, silly song; nothing else really stands out about it besides how hot 14 year old me found the mom in the music video.


Song

Got a bit of a swing to it. Singing isn't revolutionary. Audio quality of this submit is badbadnotgood but this is an old song so I get it. This is perfectly fine and inoffensive. Not too interesting or anything to really dig into here.


Song

This voice is super whiny. Might sound better on a studio track, who knows. Musically, they do some super cool spacey stuff with the way the guitar sort of reverbs, but I can't get over this dude's voice. Unlike some other submits in this cat, this voice doesnt grow on me as I listen over and over. This solo is pretty interesting but I really wish this were a studio take to get a better ear for it. This song sounds like I could easily score it in the 8s if the sounds came through crisper. As-is though it just sounds like some really cool concepts in a messy package.


Song

Song starts at 0:38. Nope, jebaited. Song starts at 2:05. Very cutesy sound to be sort of expected from a group like AKB48. It has that sound of a cutesy anime ED you'll usually skip because of how saccharine it is. Vocals are fine; there are a couple cool guitar moments but generally the background is pretty generic and just a backdrop to let a bunch of cute girls sing a cute song.


Song

That clapping thing going on is super cool. The outro is not. The voice is a little annoying, but it gives me like a younger, newer Violent Femmes. Unlike some other artists sent, this voice doesn't grow on me on repeat listen, it just stays annoying. Very beachy, they stay true to the song title, that's for sure. Guitar work is pretty good.


Song

Cool intro. Verses with that high pitched what I assume to be a piano are pretty great. Chorus is decidedly below average and disappointing. That post-chorus…jackhammer car part? Nah. I really wish it kept up that cool vibe of the verses :/


Song

Sedona is really hot, and the song is very summery. Not reinventing the wheel. Pretty repetitive, don't dig the dude's voice too much, but don't hate it either. It's a perfectly fine song. Guitar has that lazy summer part down pat. I don't like the parts where they shout.


Song

This is fine. That intro part is super cool and unique, but then the verses are just sort of eh. This is uh, a stretch on summery, but that post-chorus is pretty summery and I guess it DOES say "light my fire." This is wholly inoffensive. Instrumentals are pretty muted and quiet and sort of don't do too much fancy stuff. Vocals are alright. The "boom shaka laka" can go.


Song

WHAT A WOOOOOOONDERFUL PHRASE. This song is tons of fun to sing. Definitely fits the summer-y vibe of kicking back, relaxing, and letting go of your worries. I think other Lion King songs are more, mmmm, easy to pop on a cd or a playlist than this, but it gets its message across loud and clear.


Song

Lol I hadn't thought about this song in years until about a week before you submitted this, and I spent a good hour or two trying to see if anyone came up with a good cover of this. Couldn't find one. It's a shame because it's really fun but sometimes the dude's voice can sorta grate on you. But this song is just so...summer.


Song

This is pretty good. I've heard "The Red" by them before and thought it wasn't great but haven't heard any other Chevelle. First take I probably have more of a problem with the dude when he sounds whiny in the verses than when he yells. The chorus is solid and much better than the verses, voice gets more centered. Oh this bridge is nice, got some nice passion to it. 2:40ish so I don't forget. On second listen, the verses until the last one are like a 4.5, the lead in to the chorus is like a 5, the chorus is like a 7, and the bridge is like a 9, then the last verse on is like a 7.5 and is only getting better on repeat listening. Alright last (5th) listen: Stuff before 2:40 is high 6. Stuff after is a high 8. 7.5 seems about right.


Song

IF YOU GAVE ME A CHANCE I WOULD TAKE IT. Violin is great, song is fun, I can dig it. I feel like everyone's heard this before though lol. Song does electronic pop a solid. Great song to sing along to, as well.


Song

This is the kind of music you sway to. The vocals are solid and fit the vibe of the song. Some high notes kind of make you raise your eyebrows like "you sure you wanna be going there?" as really the only slight falters here. The guitars are super summer, and the bassline is awesome.


Song

Pretty…mmmm…quiet beat, but it's far from simplistic; it's got a ton going on. Got that cool jingling going on. I kept waiting for the beat to just go off and drop something disgusting and bass-heavy and it never did, but it's cool and fine for what it is. Rappers sound great over it. Lyrics deeper than expected from a lazy first listen


Song

Yo this is funky as hell. Quality voice, and that sax is on point. Very bob your head to side to side, tap your foot music. Cuts at 2:57 an such are lit. What a great song. Oh my gosh the sax solo too! Can't go wrong with a sax solo.


Song

I was strongly considering using this as an example song or an intro to the reveal lol. Anyway, my friend had this on a summer hip hop playlist and I shamelessly stole this from him. Fantastic vibe to it all; lyrics say what summer needs to say and top it off with a great beat.


Song

I'm vibing to this guitar groo-did a cat just die. Ok I need to come back to this later now that I know what to expect from the vocals. Ok the third time I tried to listen to this I could get past the first minute just fine, and you get some sort of like disco register vibes from the high notes with sort of the harshness of like an ACDC. The guitar solo is cool as fuck. Fuck this is so hard to rate. Third listen through this is a high 5 but is only going up from there. Fifth listen this is easily a 9; how does that even happen? So much for not liking harsh vocals lol this is incredible good looks myzo


Song

When I first started getting Smashing Pumpkins submissions I started worrying that maybe I should have pander capped them, but Pumpkins are one of those bands where I really like some of their songs, and really dislike some others; I also haven't heard much of their newer stuff. Billy Corgan is a vocalist where sometimes his voice works with the track, and sometimes it reeeeeeally doesnt. Some of the stuff off Gish oof. This is pretty classic and fucking great; this is probably my 3rd favorite Pumpkins song and the only Pumpkins song not on Siamese Dream in my top 6. Definitely summery. That electronicy intro and end are super fucking cool too but I know Fred won't do them justice.
 
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